Thursday, January 1, 2009
Well, for the record, I had my countdown to 2009 while driving on the road with a few crazy fellows shouting their lungs away in the car. Actually it was more of a coincidence as we were on our way to Lot 1 Shoppers Mall to catch our midnight show. As 2009 inched its way here, we tuned in to FM98.7 and had our countdown with them! I would say thats different than what i had before. Anyway, prior to watching the horrible show (Australia), we had a steamboat dinner at Shinan's place. Yes, it was a last minute decision to have this primary school gathering, thus most people already had their own plans for the new year. Nevermind the low participation, it was still great fun. We Tabooed away till eleven plus before heading out of the house. Although there were no booze (because hey, i'm a responsible driver. If i drink, i won't drive! Haha!), it was all still great fun. I would certainly miss these crazy pals of mine.
Anyway, i mentioned that we watched Australia. It was so boring. And way too long. Maybe because i was tired from waking so early that day, but well, if its exciting and nice, i probably wouldnt fall asleep. And when i woke up each time, i actually asked out loud that why it is not ending yet. Yes - out loud. I couldnt afford the luxury of talking out loud normally - but surprise surprise, other than the 3 seats occupied by us, the whole cinema theatre is empty. Yes, we were the only audience. That never happened before! What redeemed the night was that i managed to catch the teaser for Wolverine: The Origins movie. It is awesome! This time round, Gambit is in the show. My favourite from the Xmen series. Exciting!
It wasn't out of this world, but heck, nothing beats spending quality time with friends you've known so long. I truly thank God for the good things and bad things that have happened in 2008, as even in bad times, I've learnt much too. Well happy new year everybody and 2009 will be the best year yet. Praise the Lord!
Written by mistergreen at 1/01/2009 08:30:00 PM l 0Comment
The One with the Last Day at Work
And so, it was my last official day at work. Yea let me keep ranting okay! I have been looking forward to this day for so so long. Well it has been great fun working with the bunch. EVen for the last time. As usual, it was mad rush at work, attempting to finish a full day's work in just half day. Well typical of our laboratory tradition, we finally managed to finish at 2pm. Then they had a potluck lunch for my farewell. We were all so hungry so we kept stuffing our faces with food. Till we were all so full. And there were so much food left. Thanks for the yummy ice cream, cheese cake, fried bee hoon, lontongs, baked chicken wings, the fried potato thingy, agars, fruits, yam paste and so much more.Yea! No more laboratory work for me - i mean, it was interesting and fun initially, but became somewhat too routine; just not my cup of tea. It was nice while it lasted alright.
Written by mistergreen at 1/01/2009 07:52:00 PM l 0Comment
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Granny Dearest
History seems to be repeating itself. All over again. How does one prepare for a loved one's impending death, bluntly put? There's just no ways to.
My maternal grandmother left us in May 2007. She left after battling with renal disease for more than 2 decades. And she left us suddenly, without even the chance for final words. They like time heals all wounds. How is it that when even as I am writing this, a searing pain can be felt in my heart. Tonnes and tonnes of regrets and what-ifs. And no ways to redeem myself.
The doctor recently has diagnosed my paternal grandmother with end stage renal failure. And with some onset of dementia, I can see her slowly fading before my very eyes. It kinda hit home when i saw her needing the aid of a walking stick to walk. And not before long, she's on a wheelchair. Her condition is deteriorating really fast. In more ways than one, she's much more than a grandmother. More than just a matriarch of the family. She was also a 'mum' to me. She brought me and my sister up when our parents separated when we were just toddlers. How do i prepare myself to say goodbye to her?
Just yesterday when i visited her, i saw her coming out of the toilet, crying and saying that she's gonna die soon, as she slowly shuffled her feet to her bedroom, not without the help of a newly engaged domestic helper. Her prognosis was that she would not make it past one year, and most probably not after May 2009. Chances are that when i leave in Jan, that would be the last i will see of her.
And theres NOTHING i can do to stop all these from happening. To witness her physical suffering is a testament to how fragile life is. I still remember her chasing after me to cane me when I was just a little kid. Yet time has reduced her to a 'thing' made of skin and bones pretending to be her. The fondest memories that i have of her were during my childhood days. Yet as time passes by, i found it harder and harder to recall the details. Time can be such a cruel and selfish thing. It steals us of the details. I'm afraid i will forget.
They say that when a loved one passes on, they will continue to live in your heart. How so?
I remembered holding my late grandmother's hand while she's on her death bed. I held it till it went cold. Ever since then, whenever i visit my grandmother for her fortnightly blood transfusion, i would try to hold her hand. And i relish the fact that she will use her thumb to feel my fingers, my hand. I want to make her know that i am just beside her and there for her.
It just pains my heart that she has to go through all these physical torment. Today as i held her hand in mine, she cried and told me that theres no point living till such an old age. And that she rather die.
I dare not hope. I dare not think.
I dun want to forget. But it could be hard to remember.
Written by mistergreen at 12/02/2008 11:36:00 PM l 0Comment
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
It has to stop! Now.
Who the hell have difficulties sleeping 3 nights in a row. Tired as i am, i'm thoroughly pissed off. What could be bugging me and stressing me out so much? Maybe its God's way of telling me something is wrong and He wants me to examine my life. But still, i'm so so so exhausted from the lack of sleep.
Give me rest God. Let me have peace.
No amount of diazepam would help i guess, if the root of the problem is beyond the tangibles.
Written by mistergreen at 9/09/2008 10:34:00 PM l 0Comment
Sunday, August 17, 2008
The One with the 'Moving Ahead'
I've just caught 2 shows in 2 days over the weekends. The full fold manifestation of my 'inner-beng' led me to watch the very much hyped local production, 12 lotus, sequel to the hit 881. I feel that its trying to ride on the success of 881 and it wasn't all that fantastic. Yea other than the usual gaudy techno hokkiens songs thats so very expected, i found it to be, in my humble opinion, very much over-rated.Now i cant say the same for another much hyped local production, Money No Enough 2, sequel to the box office hit Money No Enough produced 10 years ago. And i found it to be even better. Other than the blatant in-your-face endorsements of Pokka drinks and Mitsubishi, it has every bits that make it a great local production. Everybody expected and knew it to be a comedy. But not everyone expected sobbing to be heard nearing the end of the show. Coincidentally, some scenes reminded me of my dear grandmother on her death bed.
So much for the shows i have watched recently. And heres the low-down of what has been happening in my life recently. Work's monotonous and mundane, if not for the God-given opportunity. I've gotten a scholarship to go US to study for 4 years. Praise the Lord. I'm now preparing for the application processes and all. And if all goes well, i should be able to get into Upstate Medical University in Syracuse, New York. At least thats what they are gunning me for. Gonna apply for 3 universities, 2 of which in NY and the other in Missouri. Yup if all goes well i should be in NY by Jan 09. This is even better than what was planed initially. Praise the Lord.
I'm ecstatic. Elated. Excited. Delighted. And i can never thank God for this exceptional opportunity given. Its indeed God-sent. I simply can't wait to leave.
And maybe, when i'm over there, i can appreciate better what i have at home, here in Singapore right now. That should put me in a better perspective.
Yup by the time i graduate i would already be 28. Old, yea, i know. But better late than never right. I don't have any thing thats holding me back i guess. And i can know for sure, the the pastures are definitely greener on the other side.
One thing for sure, my blog entries would definitely be more regular and frequent. Haha.
Written by mistergreen at 8/17/2008 03:08:00 PM l 0Comment
Monday, June 16, 2008
I guess this blog has been so stagnant that nobody probably reads anymore. And its fine cos i figured whats the point of writing just so that people can read? Its been, well 4 months odd into work. Yup learning more and more stuffs but things are starting to get mundane. As the days go by, i'm more certain that i would not want to work in a routine lab for the rest of my life. And well, this route to getting my BSc still seems far and long.
... theres more to life than this.
A thousand and one things to do and so little time. Sometimes i feel like every last bit of life is being squeezed out of me, very much like a pair of giant hands wringing me like an old piece of rag. Maybe i am too pessimistic. Maybe i'm a tad too negative. Something's missing and i know it. But i can't quite put a finger to it.
Maybe my expectations for life is much higher than what it can offer me.
Are we destined to be just in this mindless rat race, like a hamster running in its wheel in the cage oblivious to the world? No i cannot settle for that and i shan't.
And so it is. Just like you said it would be.
Time changes. People changes. I've changed.
People came. People left.
And somehow, I never felt more alone.
Written by mistergreen at 6/16/2008 11:12:00 PM l 2Comment
Friday, April 25, 2008
Sometimes in life we tend to fail. And we may continue failing till we can see failure as an effective teacher, in more ways than one.
Sometimes we are not ready to see the wonders of God's wisdom and strength until we are gasping for breath in the exhaustion of our own strength.
A recurring story of the Bible is that mountains of faith rise from valleys of failure. Before discovering the high ground we are looking for, we may need to see the failure of the dreams we hold in our hearts and trusts instead in the love, wisdom and guidance of our God.
Written by mistergreen at 4/25/2008 08:39:00 AM l 0Comment
Saturday, March 22, 2008
And yes, it has begun
In my quest of building my future, i seemed to have lost myself. Somehow, the lines that separates aren't so clear and define anymore. Seemingly, i am starting to doubt where i am headed and what i'm doing with my life.Plato said it good. 'The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future life.'
Very well said.
It could be the fatigue.
Or the harsh competition.
Or mere desperation. The hunger and will to stay alive and afloat in this competitive society. Not all of my classmates are working. They have much more time than me to study.
At the end of the day after classes, its already so late and any more attempt to cram information into my brain would be unproductive. I made up by waking early to reach work an hour earlier to study. To reduce time wasted walking out to buy lunch, i bought my lunch early in the morning on my way to work. (And its cheap.) By doing so, i would have around 40 minutes to study after i gobble down my lunch. I am limiting my expenditure on food to 3 bucks a day at work. So dinner for me is instant noodles and such.
I am saving up for my SIA (Study in Australia) fund. Its far fetched, but i am going to try. By saving 500 bucks a month, within 4 years i would only have saved 25K. That is not enough. Far from enough.
In order not to waste time waiting and hanging around after classes, i rush back home. (my group of friends takes the opposite direction from me so no point waiting for them) I think that portrayed me as cold and aloof. Somehow, i am constantly in a rush. A rush for time.
Having limited time left to study, i can no longer procrastinate like i would previously. So its not totally a bad thing. I went to the Aussie Uni Fair at Suntec last weekend. Sigh. If only i am richer i would be able to study there right now. Given the option, who would wanna work and study like what i am doing now right?
Well. No point dreaming. I have to work twice as hard.
But yet, at the end of the day, i feel that i am slowly losing myself.
Written by mistergreen at 3/22/2008 06:35:00 PM l 0Comment
Monday, March 10, 2008
The First Race
Its been great great fun being with Safra! I went for my first race with SafraDragons at the MR500 organized by SAVA at Lower Seletar Reservoir last weekend (8-9 March). In the heats on sat, Team B got a timing of 2.22mins in third place, qualifying for the semifinals on Sunday. On sunday, we went against strong teams like Ntu, Rp, SPC, NP. Sad to say, we came in last with the timing of 2.16mins. The team that got first had a timing of 2.14mins. That is to say, we improved by 6 seconds! And we were very close!
It was really great fun and i did not regret skipping my first lesson of the inorganic chemistry module. Yup, classes have started again. The end of holiday mood. And i can no longer go land trainings on tue and thurs without fail. Definitely quite sad but theres nothing i can do about it. A colleague just tendered her resignation and workload is going to start increasing. And thus they are shoving me more and more work to do and doubling up my trainings at the same time.
I can do it. I know i can. Its just distressingly unsettling and getting me all jittery and stuffs. Stress is good. I just hope i can juggle all 3 at the same time.
God help me and give me grace. And peace.
Written by mistergreen at 3/10/2008 11:27:00 PM l 1Comment
Saturday, February 16, 2008
The One with the first week
I survived the first week of my full time job. To be fair, most if not all of my colleagues are rather nice. I even got ang paos from them for CNY. Its not the monetary value, but more so of the thoughts that count.There are lots of things to learn, which is good and will be beneficial to me in terms of my studies without a doubt.
I just need to learn to juggle between work and trainings, and a few weeks later, studies when term starts.
A fulfilling life that is worth living for.
A side note: Army screwed up my brain. sorta. somehow i have become rather incoherent.
Written by mistergreen at 2/16/2008 12:03:00 PM l 0Comment
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
The One with the ORD
The long awaited day has finally arrived.My Pink IC is sitting nicely in my wallet. It was quite surreal - the whole experience. To think that i was so excited last night and couldn't sleep, despite having no naps and having had training.
I am now officially a NSman. How cool is that? Well, goodbye to my relatively stress-free days. No more booking in early in the morning, taking a short nap till lunch. Or care free jogging and OTOT (own time own target) gymming in camp. Goodbye to the Kampong style old but rustic and nice Seletar Camp. Home of the Bridging Engineers. Although i am not a engineer by vocation, but i am still proud to call it my home.
Goodbye to the nice canteen aunties and uncle. The famous curry chicken noodles that makes me go weak in my knees. The very nice and crispy wanton mee. Or lips-smacking laksa. And of course, not forgetting the prawn mee!
And who can forget the NDP07 days? All the rehearsals, etc. Priceless and unforgetable. My entire 2007 was devoted to Army.
A wee bit sad. But 99% of me is exhilarated and happy of course. The end of a chapter. The beginning of another.
Can't hardly wait.
'training to be soldier,
fighting for our land,
once in our lives,
2 years of our time.
Have you ever wonder,
why must we serve,
because we love our land
and we want it to be free to be free YA!'
Written by mistergreen at 2/06/2008 11:24:00 AM l 0Comment
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Away In A Manger
One of my favourite songs for Christmas. The true spirit of Christmas. In the season of giving and sharing, let us not forget Who is the One who gave His life so that we may live.
Happy Birthday Jesus!
Written by mistergreen at 12/26/2007 12:00:00 AM l 1Comment
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
the scripted play
It must have been ages since i last blogged.Yup Christmas came and its nearly over. For the record, i went to two different churches for this year's Christmas. Ethan invited me to his church, Hope Church Singapore and Sherman invited me to a play he is involved at St Andrews Cathedral.
Oh and i got back my first exam results. I was 2 marks short of a High Distinction. I have to make do with a Distinction only then. Initially when i saw the D grade i was flabbergasted. I thought its the normal A, B, C grading! D would have meant a fail! I told myself to wait till Christmas is over, then i shall start mugging for my next module.
I have sent out resumes, of which i have yet to receive any responses. I have been told that since its the festive season, nobody would do any interviewing or hiring. I hope that i will get what i want which would be good for my resume.
Its coming to the end of the year and i find myself writing the same thing over and over again, year after year.
Christmas celebrations are getting predictable for me. Gatherings with cousins and relatives. Not that i am complaining. But it just feels weird celebrating Christmas without appreciating the real meaning of Christmas.
I have had it with giving myself excuses.
I caught the live webcast of the church christmas's service. Its fantastic and i think this year's drama is way better than last year. I missing singing christmas carols in church and the candlelit dinner. And i miss being in church. I battled within myself of whether i should go attend christmas service alone since nobody wants to go with me. In the end, i didn't go. And for a change, this year's christmas came and went without a CHC christmas Service.
Happy Birthday Jesus!
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I feel like i am in a scripted play. My whole wretched life. And i desperately want out - any ways possible. And i am not getting any younger. I'll be damned if i am writing the same thing next time this year. Enough is enough. I need a change. I need to change.
I'd hate to end with such a heavy note. Sigh.
I need to change.
Written by mistergreen at 12/25/2007 11:13:00 PM l 0Comment
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Of late i have been eating lots of oranges.Nothing strange about it.
But whats strange is that i find peeling oranges therapeutic.
Especially when oranges can be such a pain in the arse to peel, unlike their mandarin counterparts.
It does for me what japanese tea drinking do to some.
And there i go, incoherent thoughts again.
And yes, you may call me a dreamer.
Written by mistergreen at 11/22/2007 02:43:00 AM l 0Comment
Written by mistergreen at 11/22/2007 02:14:00 AM l 0Comment
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Welcoming the New Lee Baby in the Family
I am so thrilled and excited to intro this cute baby boy to you guys!
The newest addition to the Lee Family! The name has not been decided yet.
He is soooo cute. Yea. The first baby boy for the longest time. The last 3 babies are girls.
I'm gonna dote on him so much. (Of course i dote on my 2 nieces and the baby's sister as well).
He's born on 18 Nov 2007. That makes me 22 years older than him. Wow.
Written by mistergreen at 11/21/2007 10:02:00 PM l 0Comment
This not-so-active blogger who calls himself GreenMan apparently does so because, he clearly loves green. He is 23, an ethnic Chinese Singaporean. He enjoys lengthy conversations over a cup of coffee at Starbucks and Starbucks only.
